Jimmy Carr just bought a rape alarm.
Almost impossible to commit suicide with these hybrid cars. You’ve got to sit in the garage forever. It’s ridiculous.You’d die of boredom if anything. You’ve got to keep turning the radio on to make sure the car’s on. -Kevin Nealon “Whelmed but not overly” Time:32:00
Felipe Esparza hits on a woman. I was at a bar one time trying to pick up on some girl. And she started trying to give me advice. she said “ You know, if you lose 30 pounds, you’d be kinda cute” Well if I lost 30 pounds I’d be over there talking to your friends. -They’re not going to laugh at you – 14:00